“Hey babe” said Chris casually on the phone three days before MOA “you know I’m working on the gas pipeline, well its actually over the river from where we are staying this weekend, so I thought you could drive the 4x4 up and meet me”. With a slight pause I said okay and once he had this commitment, he then threw in “oh and the 4x4 needs a service before you come because I’d like to check all is okay but you’ve got RAC recovery ……” and with that, he was gone. I let my fingers do the walking and found Robson Bros on the Western Patrol directory and rung up Rob. Now, here’s a plug for Rob because I have never been treated so well by a garage. He spoke to me like an equal and although my knowledge of vehicles stops at the part when the ‘it’s not moving forward, the accelerator doesn’t appear to be working’, I am self elected in charge of finance and I quickly tune in when dollar signs are involved. Rob said “it’s very short notice, you must be going to MOA this weekend” – what insight he must have. Apparently I was in good company because PMC and Frank also had their vehicles in for work. Rob had taken great pains to explain that we could really do with a 4.2 Patrol for serious bush travel instead of our current 2.8. However when I went to pick up our vehicle PMC was there and Rob said our vehicle was sound and ready to go but PMC’s (roughty-toughty 4.2) had way more issues and he couldn’t take it. Hmmm, I wonder ....
Friday morning dawned and saw me running up and down our apartment block with boxes of food, bags of mechanical stuff, bags of clothes, bedding, etc. I had to get out of our apartment, down the lift, through two sets of doors, down steps and up another flight of steps, through a security gate and, finally I can deposit said items in 4x4 – phew. Driving up the Gt Northern Highway, I drop in to Gingers to meet FOS, MOS and Sam and Mikael and Nancy. FOS was at great pains to tell me that he ‘takes it easy’ up the road but this was dispelled within two seconds of leaving Gingers. He turned on to the main road and accelerated away, smartly followed by Mikael and I found myself pulling out, not wanting to lose them, and found to my horror, I can see nothing in my rear view mirror but the grill of a huge road train bearing down on me. For once in my life I was happy not to have a two way radio because the air would have been blue. I accelerated as hard as possible and all I could see in front was FOS disappearing into the blue yonder .....
Four hours later, I picked up Chris from Geraldton where he had parked his truck at a garage for a service over the weekend. Then we popped into downtown Geraldton for a couple of electrical bits and I managed to ‘blot my copy book’ once again when I popped my head into an estate agent to ask where the ‘proper downtown’ is eg large shops. This was met with a scowl and “ You’re up from Perth, then? – this IS downtown”. Suitably retail therapied out, we returned to the drive northwards to Murchison. As we turned off the tarmac and on to the recently graded red track, all our cares left us as we (well, I) marvelled at the sun setting and the glorious colours it made across the bush and track. We arrived at the homestead just before dark and settled into the Shearer’s Sheraton deluxe room with (almost) en suite facilities (our room was the closest). We trotted around checking out everyone’s canvas quarters, made some dinner, ensured there were no bugs in our room and settled down for the night, to listen to the Sheraton snorer next door on full power reverberating around the tin building– luckily I have ear plugs!
Saturday was spent exploring the MOA tracks using ‘mud maps’ supplied by MOA. We returned for lunch at the Greazy Spoon where you could buy excellent burgers and many other options including the ever popular chips, I sat down on our Shearer’s Sheraton verandah to read and waved Chris away when he said he wanted to go driving again. I’ve never seen anyone drive away so quickly, just in case I changed my mind. After all, he can take way more risks if he hasn’t got the cash register sitting next to him totting up the value of the damage. By 3.30pm everyone had arrived and we were all gathered together for a briefing on the weekend’s activities which turned out to include ‘something for everyone’, as you will see.
We had to first form teams of five vehicles each and these comprised of:
Patrol 4WD Team 1 – Frank (captain) UKKIWI, FOS, Mikael, L300
Team Mongrels – Selfy, Dogman, Peaches, Adro* The Jeep, The Token Hilux
Team Ultimate
*this was a Jeep filled with four lads who were staying at MOA for the weekend and knew nothing of our club challenge. They hesitated about joining in and then went on to be part of the winning team . They lived on a fridge full of defrosting meat (only) for breakfast, lunch, afternoon tea and dinner, barbecued. As man cannot live on meat alone, they also drank rum and beer 24 hours a day to swill it down.
At 4.00pm Chris and I were busy sitting in our vehicle looking at the quiz for the Night Rally event. It was very useful to receive this early, plus a list of items that we had to collect during the rally, as we would never have found most of them in the dark. For example – 3 x ants, and earlier we saw the pet goat which runs around the campground deposit the pooh we also required. I digress, we were busy contemplating whether the animal that cried false tears would be a crocodile when ET was marshalling all vehicles to line up in front of the homestead ready to drive in convoy to the first challenge Time Trials and River Road Run. Due to us not responding, his face came up to our open window and yelled “NOW – or else I will deduct points for cheating”. With that we dropped the quiz papers and pen, revved up the engine and disappeared in a cloud of dust to join the convoy. Don’t want to be losing points before we’ve earned any! This event was a manic start to the challenge, we were lined up at the start in our groups and sent off at two minute intervals, driving as fast as possible but hopefully cautious enough not to do too much damage, covering a tough course back to the homestead.
Then it was time for dinner and much scurrying around looking for more items that we were supposed to be collecting on the Night Rally. The rally began at 7.00pm, again we were led out in convoy to the start where PMC led the way, or, should I say was supposed to lead the way. He started off by taking the wrong track just metres from the start. Filled with confidence at our new leader, we were two cars behind PMC and that was the last we saw of him! Luckily the course was marked so there was something else to follow. All we could see behind was a myriad of bright lights. A long wheel base Jeep became stuck quite early on, and after pulling him out, he went on, several metres later to get stuck again. And so the jokes about Jeeps started. We also had to find an orang-utan and daffy duck along the way. I, in my wisdom, was looking for a person dressed in the appropriate outfit. However in hindsight, why would someone want to dress up in a yellow fluffy outfit and stand out in the pitch black, in the cold, in the middle of nowhere, waiting for 16 manic 4x4’s to tear around the corner in a cloud of dust and run them down, saying “I can’t find the duck anywhere” ......
Sunday saw everyone up and ready for the 9.00 am Mustering Challenge. Each team had to move 6 sheep from one pen to another as fast as possible. Team Ultimate tried the tack of moving one pen close to another one. Our team was next and FOS explained to us that we had to turn the sheep on their backs and drag them to the empty pen. Chris bore the brunt of all the kiwi and sheep jokes on this one with his ‘velcro gloves and wellies’. We did quite well and then Team Mongrel followed our lead and did a similar manoeuvre but in a quicker time, I believe.
10.30 am and it was back out to the MOA first track and Musterers Track to undertake the Mystery Time Trial. The time each person had to get closest to was unknown until the end of the event however this did not stop the ‘red mist’ coming down and testosterone running as each person tried to do it as fast as possible. There was a huge gulley towards the end of the course and everyone who had finished ran back to see the rest of the competitors take it on. Each driver was told at the beginning, by the marshal, that there could be ‘panel damage’ and a chicken run is provided, but most grew horns and eagerly dropped into the pit before accelerating up and out of the hole. A funny sight was Mikael who was driving one handed whilst the other was pulling him up out of the seat so he could see over the bonnet. Another was Dogman who gave Paul (sitting low photographing the exploits) a nervous breakdown as he looked like he was about to tip over side-ways and Paul would have had his head in their window! We all gathered around Mal after the event and one of the children picked the time everyone was working towards, from a hat. Results in ET’s report – but I think its Frank and his furry friend.
After this, we cruised back to the homestead and parked all vehicles in a long row with bonnets up ready for the vote of ‘Best Looking Rig’ and ‘Meanest SOB Rig’. The ‘youngsters’ and ‘those under a certain height’ were the judges.
After a well earned lunch break, it was time for Buggy/Kayak Challenge in which five members from each team had to drive a buggy, shuttling the team members between the homestead and the river, then paddling kayaks across the river to the finish. The Ultimate Team were so keen to win, they jumped into their buggy and tore off before Mal could start the event. So we had to cool our heels until they reached the river and were turned back to join us again at the start. Another funny moment came as Mal gathered everyone (once again) for a Le Mons type Start. A huge bonfire had been built nearby and boys, being boys, had stacked 3 crates on top of each other at the top of the pile of wood. They had been leaning precariously for some time prior to Marj starting the count down 5-4-3-2-1 – GO – as the competitors lurched forwards, the three crates fell with an almighty crash. As the boys had done most of the driving in our team, it was the turn of the girls to go for this challenge. Sadly, we were at a major disadvantage as our buggy died on the second trip. The remaining three members jumped into a Patrol (to the rescue again!) and drove out to the river. We were so far behind that all we could do was to try and scupper Team Ultimate on the water but that didn’t work either and they won.
How to follow all this wet and muddy exertion? Well let’s all drive out to the airstrip for the Team Towing Relay. The teams lined up with one at one end of the strip and the remaining four at the other. The first one reverses (rapidly – Sam had mentioned earlier in the day about taking her driving test and feeling she needed more reversing practice and hey, hey, here it was! and yes, Sam as you crossed lines into another team’s lane, perhaps a tad more would help – although you blamed Chuckie, as he hung on the outside of your vehicle, for duff directions) up the air strip to the next team member. They then have to tow their team mate’s vehicle using a piece of string. There were some ingenious theories on this one but on the whole, most teams used a towing rope and attached the string between the rope and the vehicle. Once the 2nd vehicle has been towed, it has to reverse to collect the 3rd vehicle and so on. There was much hilarity and, as you can see, Team Ultimate were not necessarily going to win the whole weekend’s challenge as the events were so varied.
5.00pm and it was time for Brand New Time Trial Track in which the teams had to pick their two top drivers to race against each other on another MOA bush course.
After a dinner break and with nightfall upon us, we all filed out for the final challenge Night Mud Runs and what a grand finale it was. We parked our vehicles facing towards the mud runs with our lights brightly shining on the brown, wet, gooey mess. Mal ran generator with huge lights in the middle. Two top drivers from each team were to run a timed extreme mud run. The top 4 would then play off mate vs mate, until a winner is decided. The build up was like something from the film Grease where they were about to race two cars along the viaduct and all their mates had come along to cheer them on. I considered whether an outfit of black leather would be appropriate for the occasion, but maybe not. Selfy was so impressive, just ploughing around the course with the apparent greatest of ease and at lightning speed. The ultimates had way more trouble especially on the turns. Finally on a parallel track of mud and water, we see Selfy and Mikael race each other. You will get an idea of how it looked by the photos on another thread but seeing Mikael launch his vehicle off the starting block was just amazing – he was going to win, whatever. Selfy gave him an excellent run for his money and both were so close. Both drivers became legends that night.
Once it had been decided that Mikael was the winner, it was time to attach a kayak to the back of each vehicle and tow the human cargo to the other end. Chuckie and Dylan (from Adro’s team) were first up for the kayak challenge. Both looked very nervous, but they didn’t need to be because their drivers took it very carefully. Next time around both kayakers wanted to go again but were encouraging their drivers to go much faster. With the crowd cheering, “go faster!” the two of them flew through the water – hence the photos on the thread. Selfy’s daughter Becky also went through and as she waited to start, Selfy was heard to say out of the towing 4x4 window “Do you remember when I kept asking you to tidy up your room and you didn’t? ........” and off they blasted into the muddy murk.
The night and weekend’s activities ended back at the homestead with a huge roaring bonfire which Sam celebrating her 17th birthday, was supposed to blow out in the absence of any candles. Mal presented $1,000 to the winning team “Team Mongrels”, Patrol 4WD Team 1 came second and very surprisingly “Team Ultimate” came third. So, you never know at MOA who’s going to win until all the challenges have been met. It was a brilliant weekend of fun for everyone and next morning, 15 very muddy vehicles slowly wound their way down the red dusty track all feeling sad at leaving but knowing that there will be another day and they will be BAAAACK! Mikael’s 4x4 was so sad at leaving it broke down at the gate to the MOA property. This gave three of us who found him, more time on MOA before driving through and closing the gate behind us.
Our thanks go to everyone at MOA who put the weekend together, it would have been hard work but oh what a feeling we all left with – rock on MOA!
Jill
UKKIWI
