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Author Topic: King of Clubs Challenge - MOA - 2009  (Read 4681 times)

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Offline The Evil Twin

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King of Clubs Challenge - MOA - 2009
« on: 04 June, 2009, 05:59:16 PM »
“Hey babe” said Chris casually on the phone three days before MOA “you know I’m working on the gas pipeline, well its actually over the river from where we are staying this weekend, so I thought you could drive the 4x4 up and meet me”.  With a slight pause I said okay and once he had this commitment, he then threw in “oh and the 4x4 needs a service before you come because I’d like to check all is okay but you’ve got RAC recovery ……” and with that, he was gone.  I let my fingers do the walking and found Robson Bros on the Western Patrol directory and rung up Rob.  Now, here’s a plug for Rob because I have never been treated so well by a garage.  He spoke to me like an equal and although my knowledge of vehicles stops at the part when the ‘it’s not moving forward, the accelerator doesn’t appear to be working’, I am self elected in charge of finance and I quickly tune in when dollar signs are involved.  Rob said “it’s very short notice, you must be going to MOA this weekend” – what insight he must have.  Apparently I was in good company because PMC and Frank also had their vehicles in for work.  Rob had taken great pains to explain that we could really do with a 4.2 Patrol for serious bush travel instead of our current 2.8.  However when I went to pick up our vehicle PMC was there and Rob said our vehicle was sound and ready to go but PMC’s (roughty-toughty 4.2) had way more issues and he couldn’t take it.  Hmmm, I wonder ....

Friday morning dawned and saw me running up and down our apartment block with boxes of food, bags of mechanical stuff, bags of clothes, bedding, etc.  I had to get out of our apartment, down the lift, through two sets of doors, down steps and up another flight of steps, through a security gate and, finally I can deposit said items in 4x4 – phew.  Driving up the Gt Northern Highway, I drop in to Gingers to meet FOS, MOS and Sam and Mikael and Nancy.  FOS was at great pains to tell me that he ‘takes it easy’ up the road but this was dispelled within two seconds of leaving Gingers.  He turned on to the main road and accelerated away, smartly followed by Mikael and I found myself pulling out, not wanting to lose them, and found to my horror, I can see nothing in my rear view mirror but the grill of a huge road train bearing down on me.  For once in my life I was happy not to have a two way radio because the air would have been blue.  I accelerated as hard as possible and all I could see in front was FOS disappearing into the blue yonder .....

Four hours later, I picked up Chris from Geraldton where he had parked his truck at a garage for a service over the weekend.  Then we popped into downtown Geraldton for a couple of electrical bits and I managed to ‘blot my copy book’ once again when I popped my head into an estate agent to ask where the ‘proper downtown’ is eg large shops.  This was met with a scowl and “ You’re up from Perth, then? – this IS downtown”.    Suitably retail therapied out, we returned to the drive northwards to Murchison.  As we turned off the tarmac and on to the recently graded red track, all our cares left us as we (well, I) marvelled at the sun setting and the glorious colours it made across the bush and track.  We arrived at the homestead just before dark and settled into the Shearer’s Sheraton deluxe room with (almost) en suite facilities (our room was the closest).  We trotted around checking out everyone’s canvas quarters, made some dinner, ensured there were no bugs in our room and settled down for the night, to listen to the Sheraton snorer next door on full power reverberating around the tin building– luckily I have ear plugs!

Saturday was spent exploring the MOA tracks using ‘mud maps’ supplied by MOA.  We returned for lunch at the Greazy Spoon where you could buy excellent burgers and many other options including the ever popular chips, I sat down on our Shearer’s Sheraton verandah to read and waved Chris away when he said he wanted to go driving again.  I’ve never seen anyone drive away so quickly, just in case I changed my mind.  After all, he can take way more risks if he hasn’t got the cash register sitting next to him totting up the value of the damage.  By 3.30pm everyone had arrived and we were all gathered together for a briefing on the weekend’s activities which turned out to include ‘something for everyone’, as you will see.

 We had to first form teams of five vehicles each and these comprised of:

Patrol 4WD Team 1 – Frank (captain) UKKIWI, FOS, Mikael, L300

Team Mongrels – Selfy, Dogman, Peaches, Adro* The Jeep, The Token Hilux

Team Ultimate

*this was a Jeep filled with four lads who were staying at MOA for the weekend and knew nothing of our club challenge.  They hesitated about joining in and then went on to be part of the winning team .  They lived on a fridge full of defrosting meat (only) for breakfast, lunch, afternoon tea and dinner, barbecued.  As man cannot live on meat alone, they also drank rum and beer 24 hours a day to swill it down.   
At 4.00pm Chris and I were busy sitting in our vehicle looking at the quiz for the Night Rally event.  It was very useful to receive this early, plus a list of items that we had to collect during the rally, as we would never have found most of them in the dark.  For example – 3 x ants, and earlier we saw the pet goat which runs around the campground deposit the pooh we also required.  I digress, we were busy contemplating whether the animal that cried false tears would be a crocodile when ET was marshalling all vehicles to line up in front of the homestead ready to drive in convoy to the first challenge Time Trials and River Road Run.  Due to us not responding, his face came up to our open window and yelled “NOW – or else I will deduct points for cheating”.  With that we dropped the quiz papers and pen, revved up the engine and disappeared in a cloud of dust to join the convoy.  Don’t want to be losing points before we’ve earned any!  This event was a manic start to the challenge, we were lined up at the start in our groups and sent off at two minute intervals, driving as fast as possible but hopefully cautious enough not to do too much damage, covering a tough course back to the homestead. 

Then it was time for dinner and much scurrying around looking for more items that we were supposed to be collecting on the Night Rally.  The rally began at 7.00pm, again we were led out in convoy to the start where PMC led the way, or, should I say was supposed to lead the way.  He started off by taking the wrong track just metres from the start.  Filled with confidence at our new leader, we were two cars behind PMC and that was the last we saw of him!  Luckily the course was marked so there was something else to follow.  All we could see behind was a myriad of bright lights.  A long wheel base Jeep became stuck quite early on, and after pulling him out, he went on, several metres later to get stuck again.  And so the jokes about Jeeps started.  We also had to find an orang-utan and daffy duck along the way.  I, in my wisdom, was looking for a person dressed in the appropriate outfit.  However in hindsight, why would someone want to dress up in a yellow fluffy outfit and stand out in the pitch black, in the cold, in the middle of nowhere, waiting for 16 manic 4x4’s to tear around the corner in a cloud of dust and run them down, saying “I can’t find the duck anywhere” ......

Sunday saw everyone up and ready for the 9.00 am Mustering Challenge.  Each team had to move 6 sheep from one pen to another as fast as possible.  Team Ultimate tried the tack of moving one pen close to another one.  Our team was next and FOS explained to us that we had to turn the sheep on their backs and drag them to the empty pen.  Chris bore the brunt of all the kiwi and sheep jokes on this one with his ‘velcro gloves and wellies’.  We did quite well and then Team Mongrel followed our lead and did a similar manoeuvre but in a quicker time, I believe.

10.30 am and it was back out to the MOA first track and Musterers Track to undertake the Mystery Time Trial.  The time each person had to get closest to was unknown until the end of the event however this did not stop the ‘red mist’ coming down and testosterone running as each person tried to do it as fast as possible.  There was a huge gulley towards the end of the course and everyone who had finished ran back to see the rest of the competitors take it on.  Each driver was told at the beginning, by the marshal, that there could be ‘panel damage’ and a chicken run is provided, but most grew horns and eagerly dropped into the pit before accelerating up and out of the hole.  A funny sight was Mikael who was driving one handed whilst the other was pulling him up out of the seat so he could see over the bonnet.  Another was Dogman who gave Paul (sitting low photographing the exploits) a nervous breakdown as he looked like he was about to tip over side-ways and Paul would have had his head in their window!  We all gathered around Mal after the event and one of the children picked the time everyone was working towards, from a hat.  Results in ET’s report – but I think its Frank and his furry friend.

After this, we cruised back to the homestead and parked all vehicles in a long row with bonnets up ready for the vote of ‘Best Looking Rig’ and ‘Meanest SOB Rig’.  The ‘youngsters’ and ‘those under a certain height’ were the judges.

After a well earned lunch break, it was time for Buggy/Kayak Challenge in which five members from each team had to drive a buggy, shuttling the team members between the homestead and the river, then paddling  kayaks across the river to the finish.  The Ultimate Team were so keen to win, they jumped into their buggy and tore off before Mal could start the event.  So we had to cool our heels until they reached the river and were turned back to join us again at the start.  Another funny moment came as Mal gathered everyone (once again) for a  Le Mons type Start.  A huge bonfire had been built nearby and boys, being boys, had stacked 3 crates on top of each other at the top of the pile of wood.  They had been leaning precariously for some time prior to Marj starting the count down 5-4-3-2-1 – GO – as the competitors lurched forwards, the three crates fell with an almighty crash.  As the boys had done most of the driving in our team, it was the turn of the girls to go for this challenge.  Sadly, we were at a major disadvantage as our buggy died on the second trip.  The remaining three members jumped into a Patrol (to the rescue again!) and drove out to the river.  We were so far behind that all we could do was to try and scupper Team Ultimate on the water but that didn’t work either and they won.

How to follow all this wet and muddy exertion? Well let’s all drive out to the airstrip for the Team Towing Relay.  The teams lined up with one at one end of the strip and the remaining four at the other.  The first one reverses (rapidly – Sam had mentioned earlier in the day about taking her driving test and feeling she needed more reversing practice and hey, hey, here it was!  and yes, Sam as you crossed lines into another team’s lane, perhaps a tad more would help – although you blamed Chuckie, as he hung on the outside of your vehicle, for duff directions) up the air strip to the next team member.  They then have to tow their team mate’s vehicle using a piece of string.  There were some ingenious theories on this one but on the whole, most teams used a towing rope and attached the string between the rope and the vehicle.  Once the 2nd vehicle has been towed, it has to reverse to collect the 3rd vehicle and so on.  There was much hilarity and, as you can see, Team Ultimate were not necessarily going to win the whole weekend’s challenge as the events were so varied.

5.00pm and it was time for Brand New Time Trial Track in which the teams had to pick their two top drivers to race against each other on another MOA bush course.

After a dinner break and with nightfall upon us, we all filed out for the final challenge Night Mud Runs and what a grand finale it was.  We parked our vehicles facing towards the mud runs with our lights brightly shining on the brown, wet, gooey mess.  Mal ran generator with huge lights in the middle.  Two top drivers from each team were to run a timed extreme mud run.  The top 4 would then play off mate vs mate, until a winner is decided.  The build up was like something from the film Grease where they were about to race two cars along the viaduct and all their mates had come along to cheer them on.  I considered whether an outfit of black leather would be appropriate for the occasion, but maybe not.  Selfy was so impressive, just ploughing around the course with the apparent greatest of ease and at lightning speed.  The ultimates had way more trouble especially on the turns.  Finally on a parallel track of mud and water, we see Selfy and Mikael race each other.  You will get an idea of how it looked by the photos on another thread but seeing Mikael launch his vehicle off the starting block was just amazing – he was going to win, whatever.  Selfy gave him an excellent run for his money and both were so close.  Both drivers became legends that night.

Once it had been decided that Mikael was the winner, it was time to attach a kayak to the back of each vehicle and tow the human cargo to the other end.  Chuckie and Dylan (from Adro’s team) were first up for the kayak challenge.  Both looked very nervous, but they didn’t need to be because their drivers took it very carefully.  Next time around both kayakers wanted to go again but were encouraging their drivers to go much faster.  With the crowd cheering, “go faster!” the two of them flew through the water – hence the photos on the thread.  Selfy’s daughter Becky also went through and as she waited to start, Selfy was heard to say out of the towing 4x4 window “Do you remember when I kept asking you to tidy up your room and you didn’t? ........” and off they blasted into the muddy murk.

The night and weekend’s activities ended back at the homestead with a huge roaring bonfire which Sam celebrating her 17th birthday, was supposed to blow out in the absence of any candles.  Mal presented $1,000 to the winning team “Team Mongrels”, Patrol 4WD Team 1 came second and very surprisingly “Team Ultimate” came third.  So, you never know at MOA who’s going to win until all the challenges have been met.   It was a brilliant weekend of fun for everyone and next morning, 15 very muddy vehicles slowly wound their way down the red dusty track all feeling sad at leaving but knowing that there will be another day and they will be BAAAACK!  Mikael’s 4x4 was so sad at leaving it broke down at the gate to the MOA property.  This gave three of us who found him, more time on MOA before driving through and closing the gate behind us.

Our thanks go to everyone at MOA who put the weekend together, it would have been hard work but oh what a feeling we all left with – rock on MOA!

« Last Edit: 05 June, 2009, 11:57:41 AM by PMC »

If it's Tourist Season why is it illegal to shoot 'em?.

"3 Tits... Awesome"

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

I'm not having a second childhood, I'm stuck in my first one.

Offline The Evil Twin

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Re: King of Clubs Challenge - MOA - 2009
« Reply #1 on: 04 June, 2009, 08:09:11 PM »
Official Insults... oops... I mean Official Results


Team Ultimate
Car 15 matt   14.08  1st place - outright - Stock Jeep
    11 glen   16.04
    12 marcus 16.06
    14 jeff   19.25
    13 sam    22.57
Team WPC
    5 l300    17.15
    4 ukkiwi  19.51
    3 mikael  20.43
    1 trimix  20.48
    2 FOS     23.07
Team Mongrel    
    7 dogman   14.47  2nd place - outright - GU Patrol
    10 adrian  15.09  3rd place - outright - Jeep Rubicon
    6 selfy    16.06
    8 peaches  18.44
    9 paul     25.39

Marshalls Report
Handicaps were allocated at scrutineering to the Comp Trucks to ensure a level playing field however little did the the Handicapper realise the lengths these Comp boys go to when they threw the race and not 1 of them got a podium finish.
Several Marshalls tried to subvert this cunning plan by slowing down the horde of angry Patrols that were catching the Comp Trucks but alas it didn't work.
After being forced to eat his handicap calculations the handicapper retired to the medical tent with severe stomach cramps.
Car 15 (Matt a ring in from Ian Diffen Canning vale) saved team Ultimate some face by coming first outright in "the Green machine".
Car 7 (Dogman) was reported for having all 4 wheels off the track, vertically, and had to hide in the scrub when the RAAF arrived to investigate reports of a UFO.
Car 10 (Adro the Jeep) was initially disqualified for throwing beer cans at the marshalls.
Upon investigation this was overturned as it was found the cans were full and had been ejected randomly from the car fridge due to a poorly secured lid. The rear passenger didn't have the guts to let go of the two jesus handles to secure the latch.
The cans were returned, empty of course (yum yum), and the crew were last heard regretting the decision to remove the roof and doors from the Rubicon.
Car 9 (the Lux) stopped to admire the river for 7 minutes and vehemently denied the hissing steamy red hot radiator was a problem.
Car 6 (Selfy) had a horrendous shrieking sound emanating from the interior and was slowed by the Marshalls for an inspection. It was determined that the source was not Rebecca but Selfy yelling at the car in front to let him past and he was allowed to proceed.
Points were allocated by finishing position and the stage was won by Team Mongrel with Team Ultimate 2nd and Team WPC enjoying a pleasant drive in the country 3rd.  

A couple of hours travelling many kilometres along the tracks and through various challenges and sludge pits while filling in answer sheets and looking for Ghosts, Goblins, Stuffed Animals and a Letter Box.
Team WPC distinguished themselves by getting lost, which was a top effort as they were following all the rest of us.
Team Ultimate distinguished themselves by not getting lost and they were leading.
Team Mongrel distinguished themselves by winning.

 car 8  stacey   25/27
     5  l300     22/27
     6  selfy    21/27
     3  mikael   20/27
     13 chop 80  19/27
     14 mq       19/27
     12 v8 hilux 19/27
     1  frank    19/27
     2  greg     19/27
     7  dogman   17/27
     11 glenn    15/27
     10 adrian   14/27
     15 matt     14/27
     4  ukkiwi   14/27
     9  paul     13/27

This is one for the trip reporter. All I can say is no-one was offered a job on the Station after demonstrating their animal handling prowess.
There had to be a winner tho and Team Mongrel just pipped Team WPC with Team Losers, oops, I mean Ultimate a distant 3rd    


Team Ultimate
car 15 matt           5.26        2nd place(corrected time)
    14 mq patrol      5.52
    12 v8 hilux       5.52
    11 glenn          7.13
    13 chopped 80     7.32
Team WPC
    3 mikael          5.05
    1 frank           5.23   1st place (corrected time)                 winner was closest to time drawn from hat
    5 l300 dune buggy 5.33   equal 3rd (corrected time)                 time was 5 min 20 sec
    2 fos             6.06
    4 ukkiwi          6.20
Team Mongrel
    10 adro           3.24
    6 selfy           3.36
    7 dogman          4.54
    9 hilux           5.02
    8 peaches         5.07   equal 3rd  (corrected time)    

Marshalls Report
This stage was run over two tracks with teams going for the best times they could. Upon completion a random time was drawn from the hat and points allocated according to how close competitors finished.
Trimix proved that not only is his arrse photogenic it is also lucky with him winning the time draw thus giving him first place and L300 equal 3rd
Team Mongrel were shown the bad sportsmans flag by the stage marshal for absolutely blowing everyone off the track with 5 of the 6 fastest times.
Cars 11 and 13 (Comp cars from Team Ultimate) were impounded and inspected for illegal ballast after coming in last and 2nd last a full 1 minute slower than UKkiwi in his 2.8 stock patrol. Both drivers were given a glass of concrete to drink and told to toughen the #@%$ up.
Car 10 (Adro the Jeep) was reported for waving Aussie flags and playing AccaDacca at insane levels over the entire stage. The marshall who reported them was given a glass of concrete left over from Team Ultimate and reported to ASIO for un-australian activity.
Car 6 (Selfy) was impounded for inspection and an illegal brick removed from the accellerator. (Holy Sh1t Selfy... 3 minutes 36 seconds unassisted by AC/DC... awesome)
Car 5 (L300) was inspected to see if it was an "autobot" yesterday it was a White GQ Trayback today a Black Buggy... curious.  
Points were allocated by finishing closest to Trimix's time and the stage was won by Team WPC with Team cat I mean Ultimate 2nd and Team Mongrel paying the price for killing everyone else coming 3rd.

Teams were required to nominate 6 people who would relay each other by buggy, kayak and vehicle to a finish point many kilometres distant. Hard to explain but funny as p1ss.

Marshalls Report
Due to the minimal marshalling required a team was selected from the marshalls to compete alongside the other 3 teams. Obviously we won no matter where we finished as all other Teams were penalised appropriately until we did.
The exit point from the river for the kayak leg was chosen by degree of difficulty, consistency of mud and had to be at least a metre high... like I said... funny as p1ss.
The marshalling team was disqualified for cheating and Team Mongrel finished 1st with Team WPC elevated to 2nd after Team Ultimate were caught shortcutting the Buggy leg.

The 5 vehicles from each team were lined up and each vehicle had to tow the next one 300 metres. Oh, almost forgot, they had to do it using a 1 metre length of string. The string could be anywhere in the rig but must bear 100% of the load.

Marshalls Report
What a cracker event. Carried out in good humour with a maximum amount of cheating. Team Ultimate finally found their forte and proved they can tow their trucks faster than they can drive 'em and won hands down. Team Mongrel just managed to pip Team WPC for 2nd when Team WPC blew out a dodgy birds nest of knots in their string.

Teams were required to nominate the 2 top drivers for this event run over a new track not used prior to this event

Team Ultimate  car 11   glenn      1.08   1st place
Team Mongrel   car 10   adro jeep  1.24   2nd place
Team WPC       buggy 5  l300       1.28   3rd place
Team Mongrel   car 6    selfy      1.58   4th place
Team WPC       car 4    ukkiwi     2.00   5th place
Team Ultimate  car 14   v8 hilux   2.26   6th place

Marshalls Report
One of the Team Ultimate dudes finally figured out what the little black pedal on the right was for and Car 11, won this stage. Unfortunately he didn't tell his mate who came a very distant last beaten by a 2.8 GU a $4,000 20 year old Mav, a buggy and Adro the Jeep.
It was really close to tea time and the Mud run so the marshall's didn't give a sh1t what happened and bolted for camp.

car   13 sam  1.04
      14 jeff 0.55          the top 4 ended in a mate v mate mud run with mikael
      1  frank 1.06         in the "oriental express gu" coming in first after a rerun
      3 mikael 0.51         due to a draw in the first run thru
      6 selfy 0.59
      10 adro 0.59

Marshalls Report
Absolutely nothing. We couldn't see through the tears of laughter. The photo's hereabouts tell only part of the story. Let it suffice to say that Team Ultimate could only stand and watch from a safe distance.

The overall winner was a deadheat between Team Mongrels who got the cash and all the rest of us who didn't get the money but had the best three days you could possibly imagine.

MOA mob... we luv ya's all (even that really p1ssed of Billy) save us a camping spot for next year.
« Last Edit: 04 June, 2009, 08:15:57 PM by the evil twin »

If it's Tourist Season why is it illegal to shoot 'em?.

"3 Tits... Awesome"

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

I'm not having a second childhood, I'm stuck in my first one.

Offline WPC Trips Subcommittee

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Re: King of Clubs Challenge - MOA - 2009
« Reply #2 on: 05 June, 2009, 12:31:37 PM »
Piccy of the "winner grinners"... courtesy of Selfy

From left... Selfy and Bec, Doggy and the Pup, the  Lux's, John and Peaches and the last 4 are the Accadacca playing, Emu drinking, Flag waving, mob from 'ADRO' the Jeep.

The Lux's and 'ADRO' were up at MOA for a quiet weekend camping and were MOA 'napped to make up the team

Kayaking MOA style. Getting toed through muddy water by a patrol at night.

Courtesy of FOS

Is that my troll???

Courtesy of Mikael

Andrew's buggy pulling a PATROL...

Dogman going airborne

Frank doing some 'work'

someone got stuck..

chopped up 80s

some damage  :D :D

Courtesy of L300

Heres a few pics i was able to snap in between driving...;)

« Last Edit: 05 June, 2009, 12:34:27 PM by WPC Trips Subcommittee »

Offline The Evil Twin

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Re: King of Clubs Challenge - MOA - 2009
« Reply #3 on: 16 June, 2009, 06:15:18 PM »
Courtesy of FOS

Courtesy of Mal...

« Last Edit: 19 June, 2009, 05:40:27 PM by the evil twin »

If it's Tourist Season why is it illegal to shoot 'em?.

"3 Tits... Awesome"

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

I'm not having a second childhood, I'm stuck in my first one.


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